How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
