I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
