I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
love makes seman taste better
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
