I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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