Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize