I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
