He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
