google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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