Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
