My friends, they love my intelligence
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
