It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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