can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
