You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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