Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
