Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My penis needs a shock collar
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
