Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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