i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
