dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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