Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
