Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
