I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
