With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Green mimosas i think yes
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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