My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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