I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
