This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I will pee on everything he values.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
