I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
