If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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