i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Are my feet made of real feet?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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