Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
