I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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