ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
