So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
