$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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