It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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