I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
