Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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