You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
