I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
