They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
