Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize