Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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