i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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