so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
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hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
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When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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