Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Your penis caused this!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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