Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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