When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
