maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
