Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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