On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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