How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
