what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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