Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
