i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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