His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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