It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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