Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
