I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
