i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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