Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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