I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
