they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
