You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
