I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
