i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize