wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I currently don't understand fingers.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
