Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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