Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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