Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
