i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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